I’m sorry

Greg I made a mistake. Asking you for your number was a stupid idea I never thought would work. But here we are. And I know this was supposed to be for the summer, just a fling or friends with benefits. But I made a mistake. It didn’t hit me until I had that fever. I wanted you there playing with my hair and rubbing my back. I thought I was being stupid from the fever until right before I left for Canada. I spend the time I was supposed to be packing crying. I haven’t cried in half a year. Not since I broke up with my ex. There have been times where I wanted to cry but held it in, and I couldn’t this time. I’m stupid to want more than what we have but I do. I don’t want long distance but It also is breaking me apart knowing this is over. I’m less anxious around you and you have never made me feel bad about not being ok with certain things. I don’t want to wait until thanksgiving and see you once. I sit in my dorm room and wish you were there with me watching Netflix and you holding me close to you. But I know I can’t have that.