I’ve never been so excited to see AF! 🥳🥳🥳

Amanda • 👶🏼💜 February 2016 Miscarriage May, August, October 2018, & June 2019 Twins October 2019

Just noticed some spotting and I just had a little “Happy Dance” in the bathroom!

I’ve suffered 4 miscarriage in the last year and half. My last being just a few months ago.

After miscarriage number 4 I started demanding answers! I made an appointment with a fertility specialist and I demanded the answers that I deserved. I can’t tell you how many tests and blood draws my body has been over this whole process. I had a beautiful healthy baby girl in 2016. I got pregnant right away and had a beautiful pregnancy. After having our daughter I told myself that was it. I was one and done! But deep down I knew our family wasn’t complete just yet. It took me two years to admit that the reason I was saying I only wanted one was because I was terrified. I had my first baby and she is absolutely perfect. I’ve seen so many amazing women struggle with fertility and pregnancy loss and I was absolutely terrified that I could happen to me.

After a lot of soul searching I realized I can’t let fear stop me from living my life. So my husband and I started trying.

My worst nightmare came true!

I had 3 miscarriages and I was told that nothing was wrong with my body and it was just the matter of the right egg at the right time. I suffered so much. After the 4th I found a doctor that would listen to me. So test after test they found out a few things that could be causing them. Nothing is for sure of course but I’m ready to try again.

I’ve given myself time to grieve every loss, I’ve made improvements with my body and mind. I lost 25lbs, I went to therapy and now I feel so ready.

Getting my period feels like a fresh start! Of course I’m absolutely terrified of another loss but for once in a log time I feel hope! I know this journey will come with its worries but I’m strong and I will get through it. I want my rainbow baby so bad it hurts.

So heres to hope and a fresh start!