I was the other woman..

I know, a lot of you are already judging me. But hear me out. I never told anyone this but I feel I need to let it out.

I met this guy cause he would always come into my job. We clicked quick, his friend would come in with him and tell me “he’s a good guy he has a big heart. He just got out of a relationship and you’re the only one that makes him forget about it.” We became friends. I found out he had a kid with his ex and she was keeping the boy from him. He was paying child support and he was supposed to have him two weekends a month and visitation on Tuesdays and Thursdays for 4 hours. He would drive 2 1/2 hours to go pick him up and she’d conveniently be dealing with a family emergency out of town. He worked 10 hours and still tried to see him son so I figured he was at least trying to be a dad. I had heard her tell him over the phone that unless they’re in a relationship he can’t see his son and that she didn’t want him around. I saw it as a crazy mom and a helpless dad.

Well, about 7 months later we were at his place chilling and flirting. We had never kissed, hugged, or even touched hands. We were watching a movie and I was playing with his hair. Then he looked at me and kissed me. We made out for hours after that. He didn’t feel me up or try anything. We just made out softly and passionately. The next day he invited me over and I asked him what was going on with us. He said he liked me a lot but if his kids mom ever found out she’d keep the kid away even more than she already did. I told him we shouldn’t waste our time. I respected his love for his child and I would leave him alone so he can get at least 2 hours a month with him. He told me he didn’t want that. But if we could just see where it was heading and if we got serious then we’d deal with it when we got there. He didn’t tell me we had to hide it. But I had only told my two bestfriends.

We were together for 2 years. We started getting more serious and I ended up moving in with him spur of the moment because I lost my place. Not too long after that the mom found out and went crazy. I never met their kid and she didn’t know anyone who lived around us so I don’t know how she figured out. He said he probably slipped up and had something of mine in his vehicle or said something that made it obvious. Well I broke up with him because she stopped letting him see his son. He tried to go to court but they didn’t care. She said he never tried and even though he had messages they still believed her. It hurt me to see him hurting so I left.

A few weeks later he messaged me saying he missed me and we met up. We ended up having sex and he came inside me. I know it was dumb of me but man I loved the guy and I wanted to be with him so I wasn’t thinking. Well, I came to my senses a few months later of us sneaking around. One day she called him saying she needed more money then she got from child support and if he didn’t give it to her she’d take the kid to Mexico with her for 3 months. I realized I didn’t want to be in that drama life so I told him it was over for good. I ended up not being pregnant so I decided I would move on with my life.

Ten months later, I see him at the store and man was he looking a hot mess! He gained weight, looked sooooo tired, and sad. We talked and he said things got worse and he didn’t want to talk about it. We hung out and yes, had sex. A week later, he picked me up and ran into the store. I grabbed his jacket and a paper fell out. It was a sticky note saying “I love you to the moon & back our son and future daughter love you too.” I promise you I almost threw up. I got out the truck and started walking. He called my phone about 10 times before I turned it off. He passed by my house and I pretended not to be there. Finally I responded two weeks later that we were done forever. And that he’s terrible for doing that. He said the only way to see his son was to be with her and she ended up pregnant. I told him I didn’t want to hear excuses. The next week, I got a positive pregnancy test.. for two weeks I did nothing but cry. I finally mustered up the courage to tell him. I called him and told him that I needed to talk in person and that I would meet him te next week. Well 3 days before I was supposed to meet him I had pains and then started bleeding. I lost the baby. I never called him back. I never met up with him. He called and texted me for months but I couldn’t answer. I hated myself, I hated him, I hated his girl.

It’s been 5 years and I haven’t seen him. I’ve seen his friend that he used to come into my job with. But I never talked to him. Now I have 1 kid and one on the way with the true love of my life. But I can’t help but think about that and hate myself all over again sometimes.