Would this be ok?

Question

I live with my boyfriend and have for over a year. I have done nothing but love his kids and take care of them and include them with my family. He will not discipline his kids though and he recently his son said some very hurtful and disrespectful things to me. I was home alone with the kids and I made the adult decision to take his ps4 from him. That ended in my boyfriend calling me screaming that I escalated the situation and I have no right. But see I have all rights when his kids want me to cook them something, or when he wants me to pick them up from school or when they need rides. 
I really want to tell my boyfriend no that I will not be giving anymore rides or pick ups. I will not be making anymore food. Pretty much at 3 when the kids get home and I’m home alone with them. I want to take my son and go in my room and lock the door, until it is time for me to go to work or their dad comes home. Since i am constantly getting told not to get involved and not to set rules. But yet I’m expected to watch them. Or is this doing to much?

Answer

Disengage. He needs to step up. If he's not using his parenting time they need to go to moms or childcare. You were well within your rights as an adult to remove entertainment bc of disrespect. It's not his childs place to speak out of pocket to an adult. Do not TTC. If this dynamic does not adjust in the next 3-6 months leave. You'll ruin your life if you don't.

Answer

I think that is understandable. Even babysitters get to uphold rules and etc. You aren't their chauffeur or sit in nanny, you're an active part in their life now and they should have to learn that you have rules too.

Answer

Absolutely. This is like telling a nanny they arnt allowed to discipline or set boundaries...maybe ask him how he wants them to be punished, if he has no suggestion then that's unacceptable. I wouldn't watch children that I have no authority over, who can walk all over me without fear of consequence. Kids can go to Mom's or he can hire a babysitter, that's what I would say.

Answer

If I was taking the time out of my day to out of the way to help raise my boyfriends kids, then you better believe that I’d have the authority to discipline them. If not, then I’m not watching them. No way am I gonna let kids dictate my household and my boyfriend say that I have no say. Nope. 
So if I were you I’d either move out, break up and move out or let him know that I won’t be doing anything for them at all anymore since I can’t discipline them and that he’d need to find after school solutions for them until he’s off of work. 
Also saying therapy is for white people is the reason why there’s so much hurt in the black community now. That’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If his son needs help and he’s not getting it, I’d go so far as to make an anonymous tip to cps because he’s just going to get worse. Or talk/write to his school counselor to see if they can talk to him.

Answer

I was 21 when I became stephmom of 3 boys, they were 3, 6 and 9 at the time with the eldest diagnosed with adhd and autism and the second with learnig disabilities. We're now living together for 5 years. 
I watch them all the time alone and the kids enjoy it. But in the beginning I TOLD my boyfriend: look, I've been trough a lot as a kid, I want better for other kids, because of this I have specific ideas on how to raise kids, I will not not mix in, I will talk to you about what is best for them and I need authority if you want me to watch them.
I'm a strict stephmom, but if everyone behaves, we can have a lot of fun together.
In the beginning their mom constantly told them I'm not their parent and they shouldn't listen to me but my boyfriend did stand up for me. He made them think about it..
He asked them: Does Niki look after you? (yes) Does Niki feed you and wash your clothes and help you bathe and help you with your homework? (yes) Then give me 1 reason she should not be treated with respect, like you would your mom and me and grandma and your teacher? (sorry) and then it went good for another few weeks.. Now 5 years later they have come to terms with it and they feel happier when left in my care, more relaxed, they know what is expected and they know what to expect if they misbehave, they also know if they behave, fun comes.. Fun must be a reward, not always availabke and definitely not a way to "calm them down after they've trown a fit"

Answer

sorry but his kids aren’t yours and until he gives you express permission you don’t really have a right to discipline them without his approval.

Would this be ok?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products