Anxiety in school(dropping out)

First off hi, I don’t know how to start this and just a warning I’m not good at English or grammar to be exact so excuse my poor layout.

I’m 14 and last year I dropped out of school due to anxiety, I had panic attacks basically every day and would have to get sent home from school before the first period even started. It was bad. I had a big friend group and I would actually say I was quite popular but that really didn’t matter because I only had a few friends I could actually trust with anything (spoiler alert turns out i couldn’t).

Anyway when I dropped out everyone turned and called me a pussy and so on for dropping out, I had no real friends, so then I had absolutely no one.

A few weeks into the summer holidays this year I became friends again with who was then my absolute best friend and things were going well, she had some stuff going on that I helped her with and didn’t tell anyone. I decided I would go back to school! I needed my GCSEs as I hope to one day help kids with anxiety get help early on in life so they don’t have to go threw life always feeling like I have. So I started getting myself ready for school I decided to message everyone I’d fallen out with and apologise because I didn’t want my anxiety hitting me again when I got back to school and everyone was so nice, they all said it’s ok and apologised back for how they had acted.

This Thursday I went back to school and it was amazing I was so proud of myself for not having a single panic attack! Yay me right? Nope I thought everyone was being so nice and supportive but I can’t believe I thought it would be so easy?!?

I had a small group of friends for when I came back the only three I actually stayed friends with but to be honest their not my friends I just can’t face up to the fact that I have non, not one friend the friend I decided to go back to school for has recently showed her true colours and I can not stay friends with her this all sounds so petty but i just need advice.

I tried to be nice and start no drama and just get though school but I don’t think I can I’m honestly considering dropping it again.

When I started school i was such a bitch I was a ‘popular’ mean girl and now nobody can trust me and I don’t blame them! I just need a fresh start.

This was a pretty pointless post and I honestly don’t expect anyone to reply because probably non of you care but please if you’ve gone threw this or have any advice at all please comment xxx