Moving on

I left my husband over 3 months ago. Mentally, emotionally I was done long before but couldn’t get out any sooner than I did. I felt like I was raising a child not living a life with my partner. I don’t regret leaving, I don’t feel bad. When he texts me I ignore it and don’t feel bad either. I guess maybe I should but I don’t. His “efforts” just aren’t enough anymore. I have no desire to reconcile, no urge to try and fix it. I feel like I gave so many chances and I just don’t have the fight in me anymore. He broke my heart too many times. I moved away to another town, I have a stable job, he doesn’t know where I am and I want it that way. But I’m alone. Just me and my 2 cats. I have no friends, my mom is too involved in her own drama to notice me. I’ve been unpacking things out of storage slowly so I don’t get overwhelmed in my new little space and I’ve found all of these memories and moments of happier times. And I cry when I find them..I’m mourning the memories of when my spouse and I were best friends. When we were in love. But I’m not grieving being away from him.

I’ve never been alone. This is new. I’m still learning to be alone. I think I just miss feeling connected to someone. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest