Talk with mom

Ladies I have a question, how would you consider someone not a virgin?

Does fingering consider you not a virgin or anything done down there mean you’re not a virgin? Of course a penis going into a vagina means you’re not a virgin anymore but I was talking to my mother about stuff my sister has been doing and she said anything done to you down there, you’re no longer a virgin. True or not true?

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My sister (19) has been in a relationship 3 years today and her and her boyfriend have done stuff and almost have had sex but it hurt to much for her and my mom considers her not a virgin but does it depend on how far it went like if it didn’t make it that far does that mean she is a virgin or overall if a penis touches a vagina does that mean she isn’t a virgin? I’m 17 I know about sex blah blah blah but i think differently than my mom does. My mom wants us to be safe or whatever but once my sister came out in the open with my mom about the stuff she does she’s considered a bad child and she told my whole family about it and sex before marriage is a sin and doing stuff before marriage is a sin but my mom had sex at 17 and got pregnant at 20 before marriage.