I don't feel like myself anymore

I am only ever indifferent, angry, or upset

I don't feel happy anymore and when I do something quickly shuts it down

I don't feel like a person anymore and yet I have one growing inside of me

I want to be happy

I want to be a mother

A wife

A friend

A lover

But I also don't want to see tomorrow again

Tomorrow is never a better day anymore

Tomorrow used to be an opportunity

It's become a prediction of pain and heartache I cannot rip myself from

Tomorrow used to be a promise that I had more time to work on making things right

And now tomorrow is most likely the day it will all fall to the ground

How can I take care of my child if I cannot even bring myself to smile most days..

I don't feel human anymore

But I really really want to.....