Husband doesn’t want my mom in delivery room. Am I wrong?

Am I wrong for being upset? How would you go about addressing the situation if your husband is adamant he doesn’t want your mom in the delivery room?

A little backstory...my husband and I got married fairly quickly, one of those when you know you know situations. But because everything with wedding planning moved so fast, and I live a few hours away from my parents, I didn’t involve my mom as much in the wedding as I always thought I would. It strained our relationship a little, we’ve been best friends my whole life. We’ve since made amends and all is well but I’ll always regret it and never want to let it happen again.

Fast forward a couple years and we’re pregnant. My husbands relationship with my family is decent, I get upset sometimes because every time we do something with my family it’s constant complaints about how long the drive is or “Do we have to do that ALL day?” or anything along those lines. Meanwhile we live, work, go to church, CONSTANTLY are with his family and I only get to see

mine for small chunks of time every few months. I miss them terribly and really struggle with it.

My husband doesn’t necessarily have a jealous nature, but he is very sensitive about me picking people over him (friends or family) and always has been. It’s come a long way since the beginning of our relationship, but I think he still feels this way about my mom.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that the hospital had sent me a form asking who I wanted allowed in the delivery room. I dreaded even bringing it up to him, because I just knew in my gut he wouldn’t understand how badly I want to have my mom there. I got up all my courage and asked, he immediately clammed up, got defensive and shut it down. He said he wants that moment to be about us. I told him it will be regardless, this whole nine months and especially that moment is all about us, but to be shared and celebrated with our family.

He’s since told me he got so defensive because he could tell how upset I was and didn’t know how to handle it. He said he has “reasons” why he feels that way and he wants to talk them out with me. So far I’ve been far too emotional to even hear them.

Having my mom there too would mean everything to me, and to her. I haven’t mentioned any of this to her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or cause any strife or ill feelings between her and my husband. I just don’t feel like it’s fair for him to make that choice for us, and I feel like he’s taking something that means so much to me away from me.

Am I wrong for being so upset? For wanting my mom there even if my husband doesn’t? How am I supposed to handle this?