UPDATE:

10/8–> So brother in law ended up staying at our place for 2 straight weeks... I told my fiancé that he needed to have a serious talk with him about it because if not, I would move out & find my own place to live. His brother ended up leaving within the next day & things have been good up until this weekend.

Sunday night my fiancé tells me we’re gonna go out & have dinner 30 minutes away from where we live around where his brother lives... so I agree & we end up pulling up to a house... lo & behold his brother comes out with his bookbag & a big box... my fiancé made no mention at all of having dinner with him or anything so I obviously fumed up. (I just found it weird he made no mention to me about) we go to eat & things are okay... we leave & halfway during the ride I notice that we’re headed home. His brother asks to stop at a gas station to get something & I go off. My fiancé said he thought he had told me about it & that his brother texted him as we were leaving dinner if he could come over to our place, wait for his landlord to make a copy of the new house key for him (he’s moving to another place) & to have my fiancé drive him back another 30 minutes....

He leaves & at 10pm last night, he texts my fiancé asking him for a ride from a movie theatre near our place to his house. He went with his gf & apparently she had an “emergency”, had to leave & couldn’t give him a ride back home. My fiancé was livid about it but he did it anyway. He got home at 11:30 & I gave him my two cents about it & he says he’s tired of me always complaining & always saying negative things about the situation ???? I’m so tired of this, tired of his brother clearly taking advantage of him & he doesn’t see it. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don’t want us to have a newborn in the future & have him put his brother before our own family. That’s just the way I see it going unfortunately. I haven’t slept & I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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My fiancé & I are (or were) in the middle of planning our wedding for Sept/Oct of 2020 in California (we currently live in Virginia), we even scheduled some venue tours in October & planned a trip to Cali. So we’re trying to save money & frugal.

Trying to make this a long story short, his brother was living with a roommate & they had a falling out where his brother owed some type of money to the roommate & the roommate had the audacity to call my fiancé & yell at him for it (he had no idea what was going on). I guess this triggered his brother to go to Korea for a month (very random I know). Over the course of him being there, he contacted my fiancé several times for money to the point where my fiancé had to ask me for it. It’s his brother, so I just decided to go ahead & send the money. His brother’s gf called my fiancé one night asking what his brother does with his money & proceeds to say that he gave her $1,000???

This money situation has been going on for awhile & I have had a feeling that his brother gives his money to his gf, ends up broke & asks my fiancé for money so this just confirmed that.

I come home Monday, just started my period & was feeling miserable, to my fiancé telling me he has to pick up his brother from the airport. I asked “you’re gonna take him back home?” he responds “no he’s coming here” (back to our place). I then ask how long he’s gonna be staying here & my fiancé replies “idk”

Just to let you guys know, we live in a one bedroom apartment with our 120lb dog so having someone else living here basically gives us no space or privacy. He’s been sleeping on the couch all week, supposedly working from home. I’m honestly so over it. My fiancé & I have had 3 bad arguments over this & I’m just not sure what to do anymore. I’ve stopped wedding planning because if we’re basically maintaining someone else how can we possibly save money for a wedding? I understand that family comes first but I feel that he chose his brother over our family in this situation & who knows what else might come up in the future that he does the same.

Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent & attempt to clear my head about this situation. I’m even contemplating our relationship at this point