Why....

Why do I still want to be with you. After ALL the bullshit. After you cheating. Telling me you were done with her. Begging for me back. Begging me to stop the divorce. I shouldn’tve. We would’ve been divorced by now. I wouldn’t feel like I do rn. You wouldn’t block my number to go see her. You wouldn’t hang out with me when it was convenient for you and you only. I loved spending time with you. You’re my best friend. It feels like this is starting all over again. The pain, the lies, the hurt. Your anger. Everything. WHY DO I STILL LOVE YOU. I just wanted to be happy and build a life with you. But you’d rather be with someone why treats you like shit. Who’s rude who fucking Pepper sprayed you in the face and tried pressing fake assault charges against you. Why when you have someone who loves you whole heartily?? Was I too good to you? Should I have treated you like shit?? Idk. I feel empty and sad. I want this divorce to finally get back on track so I can not feel this way anymore. Fuck you and everything you’ve done.