I’m so fed up with life and with God...I went into depression and I recovered for a bit and now it’s back and hitting me worse than before. I’m trying to stay strong and I can’t...I’m 13,000 in debt with school, my car has broken down 3 times within the past 4 months ($600 to fix the AC, $200 to fix the brakes, $400 to fix the ignition)...an altercation happened between my father and I which made my home situation toxic, can’t afford to move out with my bf, I gained weight and outgrew about 85% of my clothes including my socks, bras, and underwear...

I’ve never felt so defeated in life. I got a job, and I thought it’d make things better but the only thing it did was cause more problems...everyone around me is telling me to not stress and that it’s going to be okay, but is it really? I’ve pushed and pushed myself to keep going but it’s literally take 1 step forward and 100 steps back...I’ve lost faith in myself, life, and God. What did I ever do in my life that he hates me this much?...

4 years ago I was salutatorian at my HS, graduating with a 3.99 GPA, first college year paid off with a check back for almost $2000, i was happy with myself and in my relationship, had a great relationship with my parents, and was making decent money. And now...I’m always broke, can’t afford to move out of my toxic house, can’t afford to go back to school and finish my last year to get my bachelors degree, I hate myself and hate looking at myself...and honestly I wish I wasn’t here