Fingers crossed... 🤞🏻❤️

Tonight I feel like I want to share my story... I’m 37, and have not been using contraception with my man for over 13 years.... We thought, if it happens yay! I not, no worries. I had decided that I’d be happy either way! And I WAS. I had found a way. By being grateful EVERY DAY, for what I had, without envy.

Last year, in October, I found out, to my great surprise, that I was pregnant. (I had loss all hope since I was 30 YO). So that pregnancy was a wonderful surprise!! My man and I were really happy... and I let myself explore new feelings, I saw myself being a mother. And I loooved it!! That pregnancy changed everything in me. It OPENED me even more, to possibilities I still can’t figure exactly, because... I lost it. I miscarried at 8-9 weeks... at first I was sad, of course... but I was so hopeful!!! Finally we KNEW it was POSSIBLE!!

But as time went by, and as my period came... every month.... I started to feel more and more depressed... NOW, I really want it to happen!!! (English is not my first language so I won’t describe, but I’m sure a lot of you understand anyways...) I started doing everything for it to happen. Without putting pressure on my SO... and was beginning to lose hope again a little. But I was determined to go to a fertility clinic a year after my miscarriage...

But last Wednesday, I took a test, just to get it over with (I was feeling like crap and thought my period was coming sooner... I just wanted to stop HOPING and know for sure it was negative. But it wasn’t.

I’ve tested again every day since... and the line is getting darker! BUT

I’M SO SCARED ... of loosing it again! But I know I can’t control a lot in this situation... only how I treat my body and mind, right? Believe me ladies... I do everything I can to be healthy both physically AND mentally.

I don’t know why I wrote that here... maybe because reading other’s stories make me feel like I’m not alone? Well. Thanks for reading! And send your prayers!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m sending good vibes to all of you struggling with fertility ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I can’t wait to be past those 12 weeks... 😓