Is it wrong to ask your spouse for reassurance?

Question

I have trust issues with him because he has wronged me in the past... he’s gotten to the point whenever I ask for just a little bit of reassurance he gets mad at me, like really mad! And I don’t understand it, if he wanted any type of reassurance I would give it to him wholeheartedly.  Weve been married going on three years in October and he keeps telling me he is over all of this and me and I’m having such a hard time because I didn’t think asking those simple questions were so wrong.

Answer

I think it depends on how often. If there’s problems in your marriage you have to ask for reassurance about, maybe you should consider going to couples counseling.

Answer

It depends. Are you asking for reassurance years down the line? I mean sure he did you wrong but if you're still holding on years later then he's going to get annoyed. No one says trust overnight, but let it go eventually considering you chose to stay.

Answer

It sounds like this issue runs deeper than just wanting occasional reassurance. If he knows you don't trust him then he will naturally be defensive when you ask. Couples counseling may help you heal from any past hurts.

Answer

I think your spouse should want to reassure you and build a healthy relationship, but a lot of people get mad instead. I think they feel like they're doing something wrong if you have to ask, or like what they do isn't enough... which I get, but if it's a simple reassurance to give, why not just give it instead of taking a shit on your relationship because you can't stand showing a little love just because it was requested? 
My last ex did that, when I told him before we dated I would occasionally ask for reassurance and he said he'd have no problem, but when it came up he just got mad & was mean. Meanwhile, whenever he needed the same thing, I'd stop what I was doing andreassure him 😒 
I dumped him over stuff like that.

Answer

I also agree it depends, how often are you asking for it? If your partner knows you’re the type of person to need reassurance then he should know that and give it to you even without you asking.
But also if you’re still stuck on past matters then I would definitely consider counseling, I know somethings are harder and tougher to get over and some things you never get over but you have to show trust in your partner!

Is it wrong to ask your spouse for reassurance?

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