Husband has no sex drive

Before I met my husband I had a very strong sex drive. I could have sex multiple times a day and still want more. My husband is the opposite of any of my friend's husbands so it's hard to talk to them about this. He has basically no sex drive.

My friends talk about how their husbands always want to have sex and that they have sex multiple times a week, which I would love. I have a high sex drive (or used to anyways) and he just doesn't. I've brought this up to him and he just says I shouldn't be comparing our relationship to anyone else's.

Before TTC we would have sex once (maybe twice) a month. It's something we've struggled with since the beginning of our relationship. He's always said that if I just initiate more than he will likely want to do it. The problem is that I'm very sensitive and if I initiate and he turns me down (which has happened), it really hurts me and sticks with me for a long time. And then I am less likely to initiate again as I'm afraid of being turned down again.

Before my husband, I dated very dominant men who wanted lots of sex, so even though my husband and I have been together for 4 years I'm still struggling with this. And I'm not sure if it's because of my previous relationships that I'm feeling like this or if I am just way to sensitive.

I thought when we started TTC that he would be more into it as he loves children and wants a family. But I still have to be the one initiating it (it's easier to initiate when TTC as I have a legit reason), but he still complains almost every time. He's too tired, he's not feeling well, he had sex the night before and physically can't do it again....etc. I brought it up with him last night saying that he always has a lame excuse and he says it's not an excuse it's just how he feels...

It's not like I'm asking him to do a lot. I've pretty much given up on getting off myself as it takes me so long. And I pretty much have to get myself off every time. He's given me oral maybe 10 times total in the 4 years we've been together, whereas I give him oral almost every time. This is another thing I've brought up with him before and he just gets defensive and acts like I'm being ridiculous. And it's not like it takes long to have sex. He has no problems finishing and it's always fairly quick.

Anyways, is anyone else having these problems? I love my husband to pieces and I know he is going to make such an amazing father. But I just keep thinking these things will get better, and they haven't.

Any ideas or suggestions or anyone that can relate?