To start off, I cheated. I’ve been with the most amazing and loving and supportive man for almost a year know. Over a month ago, we went long distance and I move to college four hours away, I’ve been incredibly lucky to have him be so thoughtful and amazing, he comes to visit almost every other weekend. But recently we’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch.

And in this moment of weakness I cheated. I have no real explanation. I love him, I truly do. But I’ve found myself to be a very sexual person. I’m very attracted to people sexually more often then I’d like to admit. And I hate myself for this sometimes. At the end of the day, my relationship offers me the upmost love and respect and good sex life. But some how I justified “experimenting” with another guy. I wasn’t attracted to him in any other way except physically. And we were intimate for not very long. The whole experience left me feeling empty and regretful, it didn’t feel like anything or mean anything to me. It made me miss my boyfriend more than I had before. But because I’m young and seemingly “unsure” I figured at the time that it was more so something I needed to get of my chest, and I feel like now I’m so wrong.

I want to tell him but I’m afraid he’ll never forgive me even though it truly meant nothing and was a huge mistake. I have so many conflicting feelings and this overall transition in my life to college has been so overwhelming but this relationship has been so positive and consistent. Now I feel like I’ve lost everything over one stupid impulsive mistake, and feel like he needs to know, even if he won’t forgive me. What do i do? I can’t imagine myself losing him over something so dumb and something I’m so upset with myself for. I wish I could take it back. I see a future with him and am so happy with him, I hate myself for what I’ve done.