Help???

Question

How do I break the new to my three year old daughter that her biological father moved to a different state and wants nothing to do with her. My man has been apart of her life since she was three month old. Should I let him adopt her??

Answer

Don't she is 3 she most likely wouldn't understand.. if her bio dad left and the step dad wants to aport her then go for it...

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The adoption thing is not a bad idea if your SO is willing. Bio dad has to sign away his rights though for that to happen. As far as explaining to her, I wouldn’t even bother unless she specifically asks about him.

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She’s only 3. I wouldn’t try to explain anything to her because she’s not old enough to understand and it will probably confuse her.
You’d need to look into adoption laws in your state to see if your man could adopt her. In some states her biological dad would have to agree to it. In others he could adopt her as long as her biological dad has been MIA for a certain length of time. Either way, a judge will probably require that you two be married if you aren’t already.

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Thank you girls I’m more thinking about how I can ask my fiancé to adopt her. I think it’s what’s best for her. She’s hasn’t seen her biological father in a year.

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Hi mamma..
I wouldnt explain it to her now.. maybe when she is older you can sit down and discuss it with her.. and if she has questions answer them truthfully.. it may hurt but atleast you doing what Is best for her.. 
I was adopted by my father (step father but he raised me since birth) at the age of 2 years old.. they told me when as about 8 or 9 years old.. 
I met my so called biological father at 12 years old he was in my life for 3 months and then vanished.. in my heart I know he is not my biological father (DNA test will prove that which I will be doing in Dec) and I told him EXACTLY how i feel about him and I've wondered about it for 14 or so years.. luckily I will be finding out very soon..
The man in your life now wants to be her father so let him.. she will grow and love him as her own father.. when she is older and wants to know her biological father let her.. but let HIM explain why he upped and left..
Good luck! It's hard but your daughter will value your honesty !

Answer

I found out when I was 4 or 5 that my dad wasn’t my real dad and that my real dad had died. I grew up just knowing it and not understanding it until I was much older. I dealt with it as well. Never had any negative feelings about my “not real” father and he still considers himself my father even though I’m 32 and my parents have been divorced since I was 11. It doesn’t hurt to be honest. I always called him dad. I know I am the opposite as everyone here. I know you all think the child is too young, but how you word things and how your tone is will definitely help the child understand and also let them know that they are safe and have someone right there to care for them always. 
On the opposite end, I had a friend who found out at 17 that her father wasn’t her real father. It was a disaster! She still has issues with the family. 
So I guess timing is everything, but just because she’s too young to actually get it doesn’t mean you can’t explain it in a year or two 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I wouldn’t tell her. She’s three. She’s too little comprehend adult choices. If your man is willing, I say go for it. It shouldn’t be a lengthy process since clearly her biological dad could care less.

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If he wants to adopt her I’d say go for that but maybe explain the dad situation when she’s a bit older unless she asks about it maybe but i wouldn’t go into depth with a 3 year old x

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