Can’t move on from abusive ex

I just need to vent.

I was with my abusive ex for about 2 years on and off it was the most toxic immature relationship I’ve ever been in but our connection was everything I’ve ever looked for. We were best friends. We can be hanging out at home having the time of our lives. We shared the same sense of humor and could talk for hours, our love never died down. We were so in love and everyone could see it we just didn’t know how to love each other, well mainly him.. he was so controlling and manipulative and abusive. I was his first gf ever he was 24 years old. He would freak out whenever we’d argue and become someone so ugly and scary.

I finally cut it off. It’s been 10 months now and I still miss him like crazy, our connection was so strong. I don’t contact him I actually have him block but god do I miss our bond.

I met this amazing guy, wouldn’t dare disrespect me but I still find myself thinking about my ex and our connection.

I’m just going out with this guy and I’d think how amazing he is he would be the one but nope here I am..

Why? How could I miss a monster??? He destroyed me, he tore me down when will I ever be able to move on???

Anyone been in my shoes pls help