Family not caring to contribute (long)

So I have 3 cousins who we were all pretty close growing up. We don’t talk every day but I’d say at least every month, and see each other maybe 3 times a year or so as we all live far from each other. We’ve gone over to their state and stayed with them at their houses etc. overall close.

We all hung out about 5 months ago when they were in town. I was pregnant and so was one of them. We were due a week apart. Unfortunately I lost my baby (second missed miscarriage at 12 weeks) We still maintained close as she had bleeding on and off throughout her pregnancy and I always checked in and texted for support.

When we saw each other and hung out the pregnant cousin showed up late (she’s always late so we made a joke about when she’d show up - she showed up literally when we were ordering desert) and after the aunts and uncle asked about her pregnancy hugged her etc everything was going fine but she continued to talk about the pregnancy and baby and symptoms and plans etc for about 45 minutes exact (basically the rest of desert until we got check and started standing up). I knew this because another cousin and I jokingly made a joke at what time she’d show up so we checked the time when she walked in the door. I started feeling anxious like a panic attack coming on and was wondering why was I feeling so uncomfortable, thats when I realized how long it’s been she’s been on the subject by checking the time. My anxiousness then turned into anger because I really felt that was extremely insensitive of her and that she’d be a bit more considerate. Now, it’s not because I miscarried before and people need to be in egg shells, not like that at all, it’s just because of the timing, us being a week apart and due close. And she’s entitled to talk and celebrate her pregnancy, I was just taken aback by how long it went on for. I do realize I’m possibly sensitive to it given my circumstances, but I still whole heartedly believe she was still being insensitive.

Days later one of them texted me saying they’re going to plan a shower for her since she’s low on money and can’t afford one and asked if I wanted to participate but understood if I didnt want to. I told her of course I’ll help but I am a little hurt and explained why. This cousin doesn’t want children, hates children actually, and didn’t understand where I was coming from and said it wasn’t pregnant cousins fault I lost my baby. (Totally missing the point of consideration of family’s feeling at the same dinner table someone miscarried and was due a week apart)

Things blew over, we’re good, I spoke with pregnant cousin in case other cousin said something, didn’t want my feelings or words twisted and she pretty much understood and said she didn’t mean any harm.

I ended up getting pregnant after my first period from the miscarriage. At the baby shower I was 9 weeks and kept it a secret. I wanted to make it father. One of the cousins (nice one lol) since they’re out of state texted me “you know I’d do the same for you” and I actually told her I was pregnant but to not say anything. I wanted to make sure I made it past 12 weeks this time.

Well, I keep them updated since they’re family and don’t want them to find out through social media. Texted them I was pregnant around 15 weeks and told them it’s a girl etc. all important things. I’m also at risk for pre term labor and have been on modified bed rest since 17 weeks so had to quit my job. I’m now 23 weeks. They don’t really text me to see how im doing (except pregnant cousin, now mom cousin lol) and nothing has been asked about a shower or if I need anything etc.

I know it’s early and I still have 17 weeks to go but I cant help but be a little hurt when pregnant cousins shower was getting planned at 20 weeks. I dont expect gifts or for them to throw me a shower too (I REALLY don’t want one) but just lack of reaching out kind of hurts. I know they don’t NEED to get me anything (not being entitled) just lack of care hurts. How can I move on from these feelings ? I don’t want to build resentment especially with raging hormones and I’m scared they won’t even ask if I need anything and in the end I’m going to be hurt and drift apart from them.

I pretty much have the necessities just need clothes and diapers. We’ll be fine and don’t need extra help but the lack of just asking / it’s the thought that counts is what’s hurting.

(Please be nice)