High expectations

So I have 5 step kids. The older two I don’t get to see very much, the boy lives with us and the other two are a 50/50 split. Iv been with my boyfriend for almost two years. They don’t do much as a family for holidays. Personally I’m from a family that goes all out for holidays. We couldn’t do much last year because of money. This year I got a new job and make bank. So I went all out on Halloween this year. But every time we try to do something one kid ends up leaving or another crying or two of them fighting or their dad yelling. It’s my sons first Halloween and Halloween is my favorite holiday so Iv been getting upset that things just aren’t going right. And I get it they’re kids. But now my boyfriend is upset that Iv been upset during every family event. I don’t what to do. Honestly I just wanna quit. Like I want to do none of the stuff I had planned out for the end of the month or for thanksgiving or Christmas. Like I just want to be done going out of my way for holidays. This isn’t really asking for advice more of a rant. But honestly any comments would be helpful. I’m just very stressed and tired.