Miscarriage

So y’all I found out I was pregnant 🤰🏻 October 5th we (me and my husband) where soo excited and couldn’t believe that I actually got pregnant so fast ( due to pcos) he wanted me to make sure that the home pregnancy test where actually right before we got even more excited lol .. which we did with our first pregnancy 🤰🏻 so then I did and it was a positive I was pregnant the dot had estimated me at 8 weeks so then after that I went with my little boy to the craft store to get a T-shirt to make for him to

Tell everyone .. well the next time I was cramping bad I thought 💭 oh it maybe cuz my c section it’s was maybe that that was making me

Feel like crap will I told my husband and he wanted me to go to the hospital just to make sure well I did and guys my day went downhill from there the doc told me that my levels where at a 6 that it could be to early or I could be having a miscarriage y’all I honestly didn’t know what to do I had no one With me because we didn’t want to Ruin the surprise hopefully that everything would change and The only one I had was my little boy with me which he brightens my day every day.. when I left the hospital I got home I noticed some bleeding blood throughout the whole night thinking it’s going to get over it’s going to be over tomorrow while tomorrow came and she started coming out say that I was scared that I was actually a miscarriage I’ve never had one before I went to the hospital and I got a test done and I say yes it was definitely a miscarriage y’all if it was my world just tumble down I felt like I could’ve done something to change it Felt like I could’ve do something different in order to keep that little one inside still for nine months still to this day I still don’t know how to react about it there’s sometimes I find myself crying and it’s hard because I didn’t have my man with me at that moment he was out of town working so I could imagine how he felt about it to I’m sorry that I am letting it all out here but I just felt safe I guess so for all those mamas who had a miscarriage I know words cannot describe the pain or anything or words cannot fix anything but I am truly sorry I could’ve been days just knew finding out and then literally the next day having a miscarriage and it actually sucks it’s the worst thing in the worst day of your life but I tell you one thing goes I am not giving up I’m still gonna have hope and hopefully my next one will be a rainbow baby and I won’t be as hard to try to get pregnant again