Not so long ago about 1 month ago (my last period) before we went on a family holiday I went to meet this lad I’d met him before and everything was consensual but this time was different I met him to sort things out cause things ended badly he’d pressured me into sending him things saying “I owed it him” cause I told mates wha happened with us but this time I met him I was speaking w a boy I really liked and as we were walking he says are u speaking with anyone an I was hesitant to answer as I knew I still liked him I eventually answer and said ye kind of for a bit we spoke then he goes you owe me a hug for walking to meet u (cause I didn’t know my way around the area) then eventually he leans in to kiss me and I pulled away cause off this other lad caisse things were good with us and eventually I gave it thinking he’d just stop there but he didn’t he pulled his pants down and all I remember was ending up on my knees with him pushing my head into his dick not being able to breath and pushing back with my palms I began to scrap my teeth he stopped and I thought tha was it but it wasn’t he then continued to say “stop using ur teeth it hurts” I replied with “but I dont want to do” before I could finish my sentence he’d shoved his dick back into my mouth unable to breath I kept resisting then the one think I can’t get out off my head was “ i dont know why your still resisting you know I’m stronger than you” when it all ended I was so panicked my mum had been calling me and id answered through out hoping she’d tell me to go back but he could hear my phone cause the volume was up and she didn’t I couldn’t figure it how to get home I was that shocked and scared I called my brothers o come get me and on there way back I told him everything on the first night off our holiday he convinced me to tell my stepdad so I did and now I know if I tell my mum there’s no going back everything will be different and she will force me to go to the police I just dont know what to do and I’m struggling badly with dealing with it but if i tell my mum there’s no goin back ive been struggling to sleep and go to school but it’s my last year off school and I don’t want to fuck up my exams help me please