I feel like I've tried everything...

I don't even know what to do anymore. I have been TTC for over two years. We've have 2 early losses. I feel like I've literally tried everything.

I've had dozens of tests ran. Tons of bloodwork. Saline infusion sonohystogram. Ultrasounds. Medications. Semen analysis. Essential oils. Not trying. Not tracking. Extreme tracking. SME plan. OPKs. Basal body temping. Different diets. I have ZERO answers. Every test ever has come back normal. I've seen my OB, a reproductive endocrinologist, and fertility specialists. I ovulate like clockwork, yet after TWENTY SEVEN months, I still have no baby.

I guess the next step is IUI, but I'm just feeling so, SO discouraged. Literally everyone around me is pregnant. People in our friend group, coworkers, my siblings, EVERYONE. Everywhere I look, there is a new baby announcement. I feel so defeated. So unworthy. Am I not meant to be a mother?

IUI is so expensive, and it's not really even that great of odds. I almost want to just give up forever. But I feel like my sole purpose in life is to be a mother, so how can I continue on pretending to be okay? I'm not okay. I'm pissed and I'm hurt and I'm fed up. This just isn't fair.