I’m such an idiot 😪

I’m 12 days PP, my first visit from the midwife was 3 days PP and they checked my stitches after an episiotomy all looked ok I was just sore.

My last visit was 10 days PP and they offered to check my stitches again but I declined because I felt really really good with them by then and despite having a baby I still felt a bit awkward about being checked down there. As all was good otherwise they then discharged me.

At about 7 days PP I remember having a horrible intense pain in my stitches when I moved awkwardly in bed but I didn’t think anything more of it than the fact that I knew it was tender down there.

I decided to look for myself this morning (something I’d been putting off) and noticed one of my stitches had burst and I have a hole in my right labia (guessing this might’ve been that pain on the 7th night) 🤢 it didn’t say in my notes but I’m guessing I could’ve torn sideways as well as having my perineum cut? Either way I thought maybe I’m imaging it so asked my SO to take a look, poor guys face told me it wasn’t right 😪

Now because I let the midwife discharge me I’ve got to start the process of going through my GP who can’t see me for 2 weeks and im assuming some repair will be needed which makes me feel literally sick with anxiety as I found the stitches the hardest part of my birth.

I wish I’d just let them check at 10 days 😪

For those out there that feel a bit embarrassed at the personal checks, please take it up if offered, don’t make my mistake 😫