I’m engaged

I thought I’d be happy. I should be. And I mean I think I am. But I just wanna cry. I’m crying now. I don’t know if it’s because I’m on my period or if I’m actually sad and that makes it worse. WHY AM I NOT SMILING!? why am I crying!? This is so stupid! I should be happy.

I think I’m honestly more upset about the way it all went down. It wasn’t anything like how I imagined it and it makes me feel unknown by my partner. Like my SO doesn’t know how to woo me. That feels like a knife.

I feel like I am an afterthought. He proposed without a ring and I let him because I said yeah. Then 4 months later he has a ring and I stupidly thought he would make a nice gesture and present the ring a worthy fashion. But he didn’t. I. Had spent some time visiting him after work and then he walked me to the door. As I was about to leave he was like “oh wait a sec” he comes down with the ring and puts it on my finger then I go home. Like and after thought! When I asked him if he had planned to put the ring on my finger at that time he said no. He kinda just went with it at that time because he had work Saturday and didn’t want to wait till Sunday. 😭 I could care less about the ring being cheap! It’s a material thing. I’m bothered that it was all hasty, spur of the moment, after thought. I feel I deserve to be thought about. 😞🥺.