So I’ve been looking for someway to share this and find the support anybody going through this needs and after reading some stories that are similar to mine I feel like this is the place to share and voice my story. Me and my boyfriend had been trying for over a year to conceive and September 15th my period was three days late. My period is so weird so I didn’t think anything of it as it was a week late the month before and negative test. I went out drinking and had some fun with my best friend and I got super sick after just two glasses of wine and that’s soo not normal for me this girl can finish a bottle easy lol so fast forward I took a test and then 5 more and all positive so over the moon I do something cute to tell my boyfriend and then we tell our friends and family who are all super happy for us. On October 22nd I started spotting I call my doctor and they say it can be normal as it’s pink in color and very light. Well it last until Friday by Saturday it’s turned red and I start to really worry so another call to the doctor and they say relax and bed rest till I can be seen on Monday. It slows down so I relax. Sunday I start passing clots and I know it’s not right so I go to the hospital and they do an ultrasound and a pelvic exam. We wait for four hours for the result of the ultrasound so I knew something couldn’t be right. They come in to tell me that with based on when I found out I was pregnant and when my last period was I should be around 10 weeks but my embryonic sac was measuring 7 weeks and 5 days but the fetal pol was measuring 6 weeks and 3 days. She went to explain in detail everything but I didn’t listen I just heard “and there’s no heartbeat” and everything else was a blur. I cried and went home my body and mind were exhausted. I called my OB Monday morning as soon as their office open tell the lady what was happening and she got me into the office Monday at 12:15 where my doctor confirmed what the doctor at the hospital said. She then called it a missed miscarriage. I didn’t even know that was a thing like how does that happen. Monday night I had to take misoprostol to help my body have a miscarriage as my baby was no longer alive. About an hour after taking it the pain starts and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt. At one point I looked at my boyfriend and said I’m going to pass out and then I did. Seven hours of that excruciating pain then it was over. No more cramps. I feel empty, lost and so angry. So now it’s Wednesday and I can’t stop thinking of tomorrow. Tomorrow was supposed to be the best day ever. I was supposed go in see my baby and hear their little heartbeat and then I’d go to work and see all my little kiddos dressed up for Halloween and then my weekend was supposed to start. Me and my boyfriend had plans to go to haunted trail with a group of friends and just enjoy where our life was heading. Now I don’t even know how to feel. I’m sad but I’m angry and lost.

Sorry this post is long and kind of rambling I just wanted a safe space to tell what I’m going through. I’ll take any advice, love, support or kind words. I’m sorry for anyone that can relate to this story. Prayers for anyone in this group.

Thanks for reading and listening to my story.