Husbands during IVF

How are your husbands or SOs handling things emotionally during IVF?

We made it through egg retrieval and have 2 normal embryos, one boy and one girl. I was so excited to hear we have 2 chances. He was sad since he thought we would have more chances.

We were getting ready for transfer and needed hysteroscopy to move forward, well they found a uterine septum so that had to be removed making our journey longer than planned. What was supposed to be a November transfer is now December/January.

It’s killing our sexlife since we were told no sex during stims and no sex for 2 weeks after the uterine septum surgery. Monday will be the 2 week mark. He said he doesn’t even want sex anymore since it’s frustrating being told we can one week and no the next. He wants to completely take it off the table until this whole process is complete. It’s upsetting and I don’t understand.

He was so great and supportive and then yesterday he asked me if I regret us going for IVF. Why would I regret it when we have two perfect embryos that may become babies?

I can tell he is dealing with depression and it’s really hard for me since I have all these hormones im taking and need a strong shoulder to lean on. Not someone backing away and giving space. During retrieval he was wonderful, supportive and just perfect. Now the more problems that arise, rather than being supportive and helping me get through it - I feel like I have to be the strong one and make him think positive. When in reality I just need to cry and scream. I’m the infertile one and the one that they keep finding more and more problems with. I want to help him since I know it’s so hard on them, too. But it’s hard when I’m struggling so much as well. And he keeps focusing on the sex, to me it’s like- I just had surgery and got a balloon removed on Monday. Let me heal. I try to still pleasure him but he says it’s no fun when I can’t do anything so I just can’t win.