Loving someone too hard..?

Omg y’all like I am really like soo freaking sad at the moment and I have absolutely no one that I can talk to.No Friends and no family. Me and my boyfriend just broke up recently because he lied to me 3 times and stood me up.Not only that but he would constantly text some other female while we were together so I happened to ask to see his phone and he was hesitant to give it to me but eventually he did. I went through his messages just to see what him and the girl that he was talking to were talking about and he asked her “how’s mastarbation” and I honestly got really upset about it and he told me that I was making a big deal out of nothing.Anyways let me get To the point..He told me that I’m smothering him and I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong..Am I loving him to hard? Is that really even a thing? Like I seriously don’t know..I’m young this is my first serious relationship so please dont judge me..someone please give me some advice and tell me what I’m doing wrong..I promise to God that this is gonna be my first and last relationship..Maybe I’m just not built for it..