How do I announce a pregnancy to someone who has lost several pregnancies?

Question

I need some advice. I am 12 weeks today and excited to finally announce the news to those who are closest to me. I have made my rounds with most of my family and close friends, but I still have yet to tell my brother and sister-in-law.
They have been trying for a baby for several years and have had 3 miscarriages so far. All of their IVF treatments have failed them, and they are now discussing adopting. I know how badly they want this, but I can’t help but feel awful for sharing the news with them. I know they will be genuinely happy for us, but I can’t ignore their inevitable feeling of heartbreak. 
All of the girls in our family are currently expecting their first baby, except for my sister-in-law.
For anyone who may have lost pregnancies or are infertile, first off, I pray for you every day and hope that you may get your wish of becoming a mother. I am also curious about your point of view on this situation...Is there a way to best receive the news of someone’s pregnancy? Other thoughts?
Thanks for your advice, and I wish you all the baby dust in the world! ❤️❤️❤️

Answer

As someone who lost several pregnancies and went through fertility treatments, I applaud you for being so sensitive to their situation. I think the best thing you can do is to tell them privately, and acknowledge what they have endured and how it may affect them. The best way I can describe hearing the news when I was going through everything is: I was happy for people when they got pregnant, but their joy highlighted my loss. It sounds to me like you're on the right track, just be sensitive. I'm sure they'll be happy for you but it will also be hard to hear cuz it highlights what is missing in their life.

Answer

As someone who tried for years to get pregnant (and finally did at age 35) I had lots of friends starting a family. First, make sure they hear it from you and not someone else. Let them know that you are sensitive to their situation. Do it in private. Maybe invite them over for dinner. Don’t do anything “cutesy” like opening a box with the ultrasound in it or something. Just tell them. Let them know it’s ok to feel how they do. You know they are happy for you but still may need to grieve the idea of not having the same. Give them space if they need it.

Answer

Tell them in person and in private. I’ve had to tell several friends who lost babies (even late term babies) or haven’t been able to get pregnant yet  at all and it’s never easy for you or them. Just be prepared for some hurt and maybe no reaction at all but don’t take it personally. They’ll need time to process it all.

How do I announce a pregnancy to someone who has lost several pregnancies?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products