How to I stop feeling depressed

All I wanna do is drunk my life away, I’m no longer feeling anything. I feel paralyzed. I’m alone in my house while my husband is out and about. This feeling of me de attaching myself

From him I enjoy being home alone. I don’t feel connected to him anymore. But it also hurts to know we are both going our separate ways. He try’s to put a smile on my face but I have this angry inside that makes me hate him more when he try’s to make me happy. I’m not not happy anymore. Our history isn’t the greatest we had our good and bad but I feel like I have too much anger in me to try and fix our relationship. I guess my braking point is when I miscarried on Halloween and the next day he goes off and creates a Instagram account and adds Aton of single females from around our cities. I’m already grieving and he adds this to it. 🥺 I feel paralyzed at this point, do I start a fight do I let it go and ignore it? I’m just numb.