I'm so lost in life

I'm in a class to get my hiset, I jUST started, and it's been like 4 years since I've been in school. And my boyfriend told me that since it gets me frustrated I'm not allowed to do it or we will break up.

Hes cheated on me with his ex wife, an ex girlfriend, and a stranger in ny.

He calls me c*nt r**ard a bitch, psycho

He doesn't lay his hands on me, hes only ever thrown a phone at me and grabbed my arm so I couldn't walk away from him.

When I tell him that I'm unhappy he tells me I shouldn't be because I'm with him

He needs nudes from me every minute of every hour or else I'm cheating. If I am snapping him and my other friends at the same time, I'm cheating. Despite cutting all of my male friends out of my social medias. If a guy even tried to follow me or friend me, it would be the person I'm cheating on him with in his eyes.

I'm emotionally drained, I haven't been eating and what I do eat, ends up in a toilet. I have been clean from self harm for the past 8 months or so because hed threaten to leave me for it..

I dont know how much longer I can do this. We have been together almost two years and he has two kids from him previous marriage that I have cared for since the youngest turned two months old. To them I am their mother, to the world I'm their mother with no rights to be able to see them if I leave their father.

I feel like I'm at a loss. I cant lose my boys, but I'm slowing suffocating and I plant see my life going uphill anymore.