I just want to rant

currently laying in bed with bad anxiety, stressed, crying, and feeling like a failure.

I’m a junior in high school, been trying to work my ass off getting my credits to graduate just to tell my family “I did it” I’m embarrassed to say I can’t do it anymore.

Everyday since August i have been doing homework starting at 8am to 9-10pm EVERYDAY. I go to school once a week to turn in the work then get new work. It’s gotten to the point where I have lost connection with the world, because I’m just doing homework, I haven’t hung out with my bestfriends for 2 months because of this shit, my parents work daily yet I’m still cleaning the whole fucking house because I live with a pig ass brother that no matter what you say he won’t clean up after himself, I have homework on top of that.

I feel like a fucking failure because I know I’m not smart enough to graduate, I need 6 more classes of MATH!!! Literally my worst subject since the first grade plus a couple of more classes. I need to pass the state test that include math? Yeah definitely not passing that either. I feel stupid. These people are setting students up for failure 24 credits may seem like an easy thing to achieve but not for fucking someone that is stupid.

All of this causes me not to eat, when I’m in the moment of doing my work I just forget about my hunger, which then gets to me at night when I’m sitting in the bathroom throwing up just fucking water. I’m tired emotionally, physically, and most importantly mentally.

I really want a job but with this much work I cannot. I will literally dig my 6 feet right now if that was the case

Why the fuck is school getting harder and fucking harder. Then all I hear are the old people saying “if I did it so can you” I literally cry even harder, they had it easy, they needed less classes, they needed less credits, they had it fucking EASY.

I’m embarrassed to even post this😶