What would you do if you found out your child was cheating on their SO?

Question

Though I'm a bit late to the party, I was inspired to ask this question because of the other cheating questions that we had a little while ago. They got me thinking...anyway, It's technically a five-part question, I will get that out of the way right now. Thank you for your answers!
1. What would you do? How would you react?
2. Would their age influence your reaction? For example, would you be a bit more understanding and forgiving if they were a teen, as opposed to an adult.
3. Would you see any blame in yourself or how you raised them? 
4. How would this change your perspective of them? Would you still be able to, honestly, see them as a good person anymore? If they change overtime, would you be able to look past their actions? 
5. What about telling the SO? Would you give them the chance to come clean, or you say something?

Accepted Answer

In a brief comment, I will tell my child the effects cheating does on a person and why we simply don’t do it. Yes, I would tell their girlfriend/boyfriend. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I refuse to teach my child to be a cheater and to think it’s okay to cheat. It’s the principle of the situation and the morals my child should have.

Answer

Whoa idk lol. First, I think regardless of how you raise someone, they can still do shitty things. So unless I was always cheating on my significant other and my child was aware of it, I don’t think I’d blame myself for raising them improperly. Their age and seriousness of the relationship would definitely impact my reaction. If they were maybe 19 or younger, I’d maybe feel I’d have more control over it so I’d make rules or instruct them to do something else. If they were older and married, I’m not sure I’d intervene other than telling them I’m disappointed and won’t encourage it. I’d maybe set boundaries of some sort, but I’m not sure how to do that without isolating my child. I don’t have children and don’t plan on ever having children, but I can’t imagine if I had one, that I’d be okay with isolating them, because that can be dangerous for them. Regardless I’d still love and care for them. I honestly don’t think I’d tell their SO. I could see them as a good person moving forward if they changed their ways. I’d definitely think I’d be more forgiving with my own child than anyone else.

Answer

1. I'd tell them they better fucking come clean to their partner, or I'm telling them.
2. Age doesn't matter. Cheating is never okay at any age 
3. No. I know I never once showed any indication that cheating is okay in any scenario. You can be a good influence all you want and teach them as much as you can, but in the end they are their own person and will make their own choices (or mistakes). 
4. It really depends on how long they had been cheating on their partner and if the person they were cheating with was also in a relationship. If it was a single mistake, I wouldn't see her differently. If she was in a shitty relationship, then I would be disappointed in her for not just ending it first. Over all, I wouldn't want it to fully change how I see her. 
5. Answered in the first question

Answer

I’d definitely be disappointed & have a conversation with them about the damage & negative effects cheating has on a person. I’ve been cheated on before when I was a teen & when I was an adult & both times hurt me just as bad so them being a teen or an adult wouldn’t matter I would still sit down & discuss with them that that’s not acceptable. Ultimately if the child is grown I can’t demand them to do anything but I can push them to tell their partner the truth. I don’t like stepping into the middle of anyone’s mess but I would probably speak up if they refuse to because I wouldn’t want their partner thinking I covered for them or supported that.

Answer

Ima snitch! I already told them if you cheat and I find out I'm telling her. Point blank! I'm not raising no hoes. If you don't want to be with someone LEAVE!

Answer

I have an almost 19 year old stepson who recently broke up with his first real girlfriend. They were together almost a year and he said he found her a bit clingy and she wanted it to be more serious than he did. Typical teenage romance stuff. However, my husband and I interrogated him so hard lol. Did you cheat? Did she? Was it just a big fight or an ongoing issue? Did you break up with her nicely or rudely? Have you spoken negatively about her? Are you rubbing it in her face in any way? 
We are not raising a fuck boy in our family full stop. It’s all about communication. Be honest with your kids. People make poor choices that’s life. But some poor choices are unforgivable.
Yes I’d be mad if my child cheated. 
Idk if I’d tell the SO though. It would depend on how well I knew them. But you can be damnnnnnn sure id tell my child they need to end it or tell their SO before they are welcome in my home again 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I would give them a chance to come clean themselves, if they didn’t I would tell their partner myself.  I think age would make a difference a bit, say a 15 year old cheats on his girlfriend of a week.  Still wrong, and he needs a good talking to, but not the same weight as a grown man cheating on his wife.  Cheating is horrible either way, and should never be brushed off.  My high school boyfriend cheated on me at 15 I would certainly feel a whole lot different if my now husband of 6 years cheated.  At 15 it still hurt and felt like the end of the world would which it wasn’t, not even close.  People who cheat are gross. Especially grown adults.

Answer

I will tell my child what that can do to a person, to their heart, to their perspective on themselves. No one deserves that. No one deserves to lie awake at night wondering why they weren’t enough.

Answer

I would tell them that cheating is not cool and that I wouldn’t help them lie and if asked outright I wouldn’t cover for them. Then I would mind my own damn business.

Answer

if my child is in elementary school and “cheats” i’d just have a brief convo about how wrong it is for future reasons and then tell their father to have another brief convo. but if my child is old enough to comprehend dating then their ass is grass. they’d have a lot of explaining to do as well as i’d ensure they fess up and even treat their so to a gift of some kind to show my apologies. after that tho they would’ve lost my trust and honestly i don’t even know what i’d do but they’d definitely be a negative figure in my life until they prove to me they have learned. i don’t tolerate those that choose to hurt others

What would you do if you found out your child was cheating on their SO?

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