Am I wrong to feel this way? Hormonal much🤷‍♀️

Question

Do you guys ever feel that because you are pregnant people expect you to be okay with everything? So, earlier today my husband and I were having dinner (at a diner) he began to tell me that he was talking to his mother earlier today and she was telling him she wasnt going to becoming early when the baby arrives, rather come later with my FIL to be here during christmas. They live in texas so they would be flying. That didnt bother me at all, as I had known they would be coming. But what upset me was the fact that his grandparents decided to tag along with them. You see my DH Grandparents have a disabled son. He is wheelchair bound, does not speak, and needs to rest his body at a given time. We dont have an extra room and the guest room would be for my in laws. The fact that they invited themselves and my in-laws would no longer be flying but have to drive them from texas to Az when my FIL only has so many days off, pissed me off so bad!!!😤 Like who said I was okay with it? Who asked me how I felt about having so many people in my house? How was I to accommodate 3 addition people with one being heavily disabled? I felt so disrespected, overwhelmed, angry, I could not hold back my tears and began to cry in this diner. I could not control my feelings.😭 Like ugh these hormones!!! 🤨 Honestly idk if I am wrong but I had already told my husband long ago we will go visit his family in march during spring break. It's like he heard it but it went through one ear and out the other 🙄
 I had no control over my feelings, and I told him exactly how I felt. I didnt mean to hurt his feeling but it's our child. I want time to recover and have time as a family. Sometimes I feel as if he doesn't understand how I feel. I want family time bonding. It's a new chapter for us and if he can have everyone and their momma here, he would. I get it, it is exciting but his grandparent have other grandkids so it's not the first one they will have. He did talk with his mom and let them know how I felt.

Answer

He HAS to talk to his family and ask them not to visit until you guys decide. I couldn’t imagine anything worse.

Answer

Having visitors and overnight guests is totally your choice when you feel ready as a new family. I also noticed that people are not asking us our wishes nor respecting them. People have been very pushy already about us doing so many activities with them, kinda disregarding the fact that this momma is tired. They are also telling us what they are doing over the holidays when our baby is due, instead of asking us how we feel about certain things. Definitely need to establish the boundaries now.

Answer

You have every right. They should of spoke to y’all first if they had an idea to even come. Just like you said you need that family bonding and healing time. We go through so much during the first two months in healing getting to know our babies and our babies go through so much in the beginning as well as getting use to being on the outside and getting to know their home. You def don’t need that extra stress on trying to accommodate his grandparents and a disabled person at that especially during flu and cold time. So glad your husband talked to them that’s great. Men don’t think about the whole picture like we do lol

Answer

With a brand new newborn in your home you have every right to say who can stay in your home. It will be a tiring enough transitioning time already, without 3 extra houseguests. 
I would honestly talk with them, or have your husband talk to them if that is more comfortable for you and tell them you are trying to keep it small due to having a newborn and adjusting. 
Honestly, I basically sequestered myself and my newborn alone for the first month besides a couple of smallllll holiday visits with immediate family. It's a major adjustment time and you are still going to be recovering postpartum the last thing you want is added stress. 
Not even to mention the more people around the more germs. But I may just be a bit paranoid about the people who around my newborn.
It is not just the hormones, I would feel the same way you do if someone just invited themselves to stay in my home.

Answer

Yeah that’s a lot when you’re just coming home with baby too, I’m glad you told him how you felt, I don’t have that exact situation to relate too but my mother in law has dogs and shes suppose to come stay with us the first week to take my youngest to school and she’s bringing her freakin dogs! And we don’t have a fence and we’re on like 3 acres so she can’t just put them outside, but then she planned on coming days before we planned her too which I want my first night or two home with just my little family so I can be comfortable and get situated without more bodies in my house. 
I don’t wanna be rude either and say no you can’t come early, but I don’t wanna resent her either. Ughhh I have 18 days to speak up

Answer

It is NOT ok that they invited themselves, especially in such a stressful time in life.  I’m glad your husband is communicating with them now but he could have done it sooner.  I would have been super upset as well!!

Am I wrong to feel this way? Hormonal much🤷‍♀️

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