Is he out of order or am I?

So. On Monday I asked my boyfriend of 3 years to come to dinner with my family on Saturday. It’s for my elderly grandmothers birthday and she’s just out of hospital. My boyfriend works away Monday - Friday and at the time he said “yeh I have no plans, I’ve got a long week ahead so I might be too tired but I’ll let you know”.

So I asked on Wednesday again - he avoided the question. I asked again today and he said “well I have an answer that’s going to annoy you. But I think it’s justified” so I was like um okay what is your answer? And he said “well I have limited time back home and you want to see me, my brother wants to see me and my friends want to see me. I only have two days”. Seeing his brother or his friends that means he will be getting super drunk with them FYI.

To which my answer was “This is for my grandmother. We never get to spend time with my family. I’m working late Friday night and until 5pm on Saturday so I won’t see you then. I did ask you to come to this dinner on Saturday night on Monday so why can you not see the other guys on Friday?” I was so annoyed because he knows my work schedule and the importance of the dinner too.

What annoys me more is the friends who apparently want to see him are total jerks to him. They haven’t spoken to him since June and are so rude. He also spends every Sunday with his brother, which is more time than I get a week lol. The last thing he wrote to me was “Ok. Decision made. See you next week.” Meaning HE’S fallen out with ME over it and not coming to the dinner as it stands! He’s not replied in five hours.

I’m going to feel so hurt and let down if he really does choose the other plans over my family dinner. My family do a lot for both me and my boyfriend so it’s hurtful.

Any advice? What can I say to him? Am I being out of order?