Am I overreacting or does he not give a shit about me?


I’m moving to California with a group of friends and I’m dating a guy amongst that group. He’s an amazing artist and I am madly in love with him but I’m thinking that I’ve reached my limit. Here are a few of the red flags I’ve come across:

He won’t commit or call me his girlfriend after we’ve been seriously romantically seeing each other for a year but he was the first to say “I love you” and tells me everyday.

I feel like does not consider my wants and needs. (For example, if I call and vent about work, he says he doesn’t want to absorb my negative energy, but vents about work to me everyday. We hang out on his say-so. He’s barely romantic with me when I see him. It’s literally like we’re friends with very rare benefits.)

He has a friendship with his ex and has “art-related” meetings with her and claims her as one of his best friends. (Can someone please comment about this? Do you guys have friendships with your exes and mention them in pressing to your SO? I understand being cordial but I told him I find it odd. He claims that exes can be friends and she was there for him at his lowest.)

I send him nice paragraphs about how much I care about him and barely get a response. He doesn’t send me messages like that and doesn’t tell me how he feels.

He comes to my house and stays on his phone, iPad or MacBook to work on his art or browse social media. He barely pays any attention to me when I’m around but blames the fact that he’s not producing art on the fact that he’s around me and can’t focus even though he’s never focused on me.

I already know how this sounds, but I need advice on what I should do/say. I have no girlfriends to talk about this with so anything helps.