My mom is the most manipulative, judge mental and rude person I’ve ever met. She’s one of those people who guilt trips her family into doing everything for her. She used to be an independent woman and now she feels like she’s done her time and deserves to be waited on night and day and put down everyone around her for shits and giggles. She take any opportunity to make me specifically feel like shit. As her oldest I take most of the heat. And the fact that I’m now a mom makes her worse. Even during my labor she made it about her. She pitched a fit because I didn’t want her in the delivery room with me because she only stresses me out. Then from the waiting room she called and told my whole family I deprived her from the birth of “her baby”. And since I didn’t call her the second he was born she was mad at me (I called her as soon as I was stitched up) And then spent my two remaining days in the hospital not shutting up about the fact that I didn’t let her in the room. The day my child was born I was crying not from pain or joy literally because she made me feel so awful about myself and guilty for whatever I did wrong to her. She goes out of her way to make me feel awful. Even for things I do when I’m off mom duty. Having a beer after work once in a while. Smelling like a cigarette even though I didn’t smoke I was at work with people who do. My son not taking a nap. Him waking up anytime past 6:30am. Him taking a late nap so he doesn’t go to bed until 10. It’s all my fault and it all makes me a bad mom in her eyes. Even when I approach her and try to talk about the things that bother me she ignores it and tells me I have insecurity issues that I’m imagining it and she’s nothing but loving and supportive. Am I the only one? I feel like I’m really losing my mind and I’m doubting myself constantly. I just want to cry and run away with my son. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get her approval and make her proud and no matter what I do it just doesn’t work.

Edit: yes we live together and work at the same place so I don’t really get an escape. We’re trying to move out but we can’t just yet.