MIL problems

So I dont get along with my mil, I'm constantly on edge about the next confrontation she starts.

For example when we went home over the summer she threw a hissy after her family leaves her house because I made plans with MY family instead of staying at her house to see her new boyfriend for the 2nd time. They had been dating almost a year at that point but he really wasnt interested in us the first time we met. They broke up like 2 weeks later, something unrelated, but she goes through the guys.

So to the point, my mom calls me to chat, ask about our daughter last night and let's my niece facetime us so she can see Sarah too. She mentions that my mil told her my mom needed to come to her house to get our Christmas pajamas to bring down for Thanksgiving. I'm instantly furious, because I felt like this woman is now trying to manipulate my mom. She acts to helpless like she never lifts a fucking finger. When were home she always asks my husband to hang pictures, take garbage out or down to the road for her. We go home like twice a year, we are there to visit not do fucking chores. I told my mom she didnt need to get them anyway because my mil KNOWS we are coming home for Christmas. Shes been BEGGING us to stay at her house, but I'm petty and I'll tell my husband well stay at his dads. We would stay at my parents but they're going to Europe to visit with one of their foriegn exchange students from a few years ago.

Not to mention, I'm still wanting to punch mil in the face. We went up for Sarah's birthday a few weeks ago and my mom tells me some time ago my mil asked her "does george (my dad) feel like hes married to a man? We really need to go shopping for you annew wardrobe." She thinks women all need to wear dresses, heels, makeup and hair done all day every day, and my mom is a ponytail wearing tshirt and Jean's loving gal. My mom is also very self sufficient and my mother in law cwnt afford to heat her house for the winter so she had to go to Florida to stay with relatives so she doesnt freeze to death.

All I do at this point is try to be civil, but she would be the grandma to cut her hair or pierce her ears without permission and I'm a big mama bear when provoked, so she needs to realize my attitude is much bigger than hers. But she also butters my husband up and tells her I'm so strong blah, blah, blah because she couldnt be a military spouse. No she couldn't because she only thinks about herself and what she wants. 🙄

Sorry for the major rant, I'm trying to avoid pissing off the mister by talking about his mom all the time. 🤦🏻‍♀️😅