I have cut all communication off with my sperm donor. Yes I call him that because he has not been in my life to see me grow as a person. All he ever did was talk down on me in a very condescending way. My mom only has to speak to him because my brothers are still under eighteen so she has no choice in that. Well my mom calls to check on me because I’m pregnant and it honestly has been sucking. I feel pain and depressed that I’m failing to even provide a healthy nutritional value to my baby. I feel like complete shit. My head feels like it is being squeezed. Yes I’ve called the doctors office and since I’m not bleeding I have to wait four days until my appointment which is on the 25th. It’s agony.

Anyway she also lets me know that my sperm donor asked if my boyfriend and I are married yet. One that’s none of his business and two why just why is that any of his concern? I asked her if she told him I was pregnant and she said no because she didn’t know if I wanted him to know. I honestly don’t want him to know because he will think he has some right to see his grandchild. Even if he did know I would still refuse to take my child to see him because he’s a lying, manipulative piece of shit. He plays game and I have no time for that at all. He won’t even be invited to the wedding because I don’t need him acting all butthurt just because he can’t walk me down the aisle. I will have my brothers walk me down the aisle. I don’t care if that’s a traditional father thing. He wasn’t there for me so why should I give him that opportunity. Hard pass. There’s no acting like father of the year around me. I’ve tried building a relationship with him ,and all he does is blame my mom for shit that’s between them. I got so fed up with his excuses ,and him not taking any ownership. He doesn’t take ownership for the abuse he put my mom through, and made us witness. He doesn’t take responsibility for not spending time with us when my mom has called him countless times to come pick us up. I’m not perfect, but at least I’m prepared to admit my faults. He won’t do the same, and I had come to terms with that years ago.

If you think I’m wrong and shouldn’t keep him from seeing his grandchild then that’s your opinion. You have no idea of what hell he put us through. Also if you think I’m wrong for not inviting him to a wedding then that’s also your opinion. I know what he’s capable of and you don’t. Abusive people rarely change for the better. Him changing would be a miracle.