What would you do?

I come from a large blended family. My mom and her husband wanted to get the whole family together for Christmas. They were married when us their children were adults so we are not all close or have relationships with each others.

I sent out a group message asking the mom's of the family for the kids Christmas gift list. Thinking I would purchase something small for each child. Also considering I have only 1 child the smallest family and youngest child. So I would be buying 11 gifts. But the most financially stable.

Some of the mom's responded via calling me like my actual sibling and 2 step siblings responded on the thread. The last step sibling never responded and then sent out a separate group text saying that she would respond on that text with her children's lists and advised others to do the same. Also asking us to update what we are gifting the children as we shop not to duplicate gifts.

1. She was the only one not to respond to my thread?

2. Isn't it tacky to ask others to share what you are gifting? Like she gets so jealous why would I fuel that by telling her what I am gifting my biological neices?

3. Why make a new post?

After her messages went out my actual siblings were calling me as well as one step to be asking me what is going on? In which I laughed it off. I spoke to my mom and she got angry with me saying if I don't respond to her text or gift requests I don't have a kind heart. Told my mom if she is scolding me and has forgotten who her kids really I am not coming to Christmas. I get so anxious because I try to do so many kind nice things and it turned into a snowball.

What would you say or do? Clearly we have past issues in this family so nothing is ever just as simple as giving a kid a ten dollar gift.