There’s someone else

So my bf and I have been together for 4 years. We have a 4 month old together and I’m at a breaking point with him. He’s abusive in every way but physical and it breaks my heart because it only started about 2 years ago. I’ve tried working things out and asking him to stop with the name calling and being so ignorant all the time but it will last maybe a day. I’m just so over it but at the same time I can’t leave :( I’m stuck cause I still love him. I’ve tried talking to him about how I feel and he just laughs in my face and tells me to stop being stupid. He makes me feel so insecure about myself after having a baby. He calls me fat and ugly and lazy. He does nothing at all to help with the baby either so I’m basically already a single mom :/

I know it’s wrong but I’ve been talking to his friends friend and he’s such an amazing guy 😭 he’s supportive and kind and just makes me feel so good about myself ! I’m just scared of leaving and getting into another relationship and it effecting my daughter too or if things turn out how they are now :/ I have trust issues now. Obviously I wouldn’t just leave and then get right into a new relationship, I would need time to heal and maybe even get into some therapy. I’m just so stuck and don’t know what to do. How can I get past wanting to leave and not wanting to leave?