I don’t understand god

Im 5 weeks pregnant with my third and the love of my life was shot and killed yesterday in a drive by. Two other girls walking were shot too. No idea who the man was but im so heartbroken. He was honestly the love of my life, the father of my kids, my best friend, the person i would go to when i needed help, the person that would hold me, he loved me in a way no one else could. And now hes gone and i cant wrap my head around it. Why? I dont understand why god would do this. Im so lost. Has anyone else ever lost your husband, partner, father of your kids suddenly?? Im so angry and sad