pregnant with my second..


im 21 years old with a soon to be one year old, and today i found out i was pregnant with my second child. im so happy, but im absolutely petrified. we are not prepared, and i am so scared and need prayers, tips and reassurance. i have been crying knowing that i wont have all the time with my first born. we are not in a good spot financially, but my boyfriend believes we can make it work. i wish i had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom but i dont, and reality is both of us have to work in order to make ends meet. i want to be able to stay a majority of my days with my babies.. but my boyfriend believes that once maternity leave is up, i need to get back to working 40 hours. we dont have a babysitter. my mom watches our first born whenever our workdays overlap for a few hours but thats about it. i dont want to burden my mom with watching a doon to be toddler and a somewhat newborn.. there is just so many things for me to think aboht, like how i will divide attention or feeling guilty because i dont have all the time to watch my first baby actually grow up. it hurts my heart, but i know if i got rid of the baby i would regret it. i asked my boyfriend if i would be able to work 20-30 hours a week so i could realistically be home with my babies more, he asked me how long and went onna ramble about how we need to be equals and do everything 50/50 which is completely understandable. he doesnt seem to listen to my wish, even now being away from my daughter 10 hours a day for 4 days of the week takes a toll on me. i dont know what to do. i need tips and my head is spinning.