I feel trapped in my life

Objectively, things are “good” but I feel like I have no control over anything and I want to feel better but I just don’t.

I’m happily married to the love of my life. We have a great home and 2 cats. We live close to my family, that I love. We both have well-paying jobs. My job depresses the hell out of me... it was my “dream job” but I’m honestly so miserable. But I don’t think I’d be any less miserable doing something else...? I have a great boss and it’s a great company and I don’t know what else I’d do anyway, so it seems silly to leave. We’ve been TTC only in our 3rd month now but the fact that getting pregnant wasn’t as easy as having unprotected sex a couple times, was an awful slap in the face.

I feel completely trapped and I just want things to be different so maybe I’ll feel different. I guess that sounds silly because like I said, nothing is even “bad.” But I hate my job. I hate that I’m not pregnant and I have no idea when or if I ever will be. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about any of this and that even if I could do something, it probably wouldn’t make me feel any less depressed.

And yes I am going to go to therapy. My insurance policy is changing in January though so I can’t go until then. I’m really just needing help getting through the next month..