Sometimes it hurts.

Sometimes my relationship hurts, it breaks me down and breaks my heart some days, but I love him and we have such good moments and so much fun with one another. My boyfriend used to be a man that loves to be affectionate with his woman, he used to show emotion and be a sweetheart, but when he was with his most current ex and all the drama that went on with them, it changed him. He rarely ever shows emotion, he doesn’t care to be affectionate l, cuddle and kiss a lot, it’s a task somedays, there’s been times where he’s broke down and told me he’s sorry, he knows I deserve better, and I always tell him no I love him reguardless and it’s true I’m inlove with him and all that he is, but it does hurt at times, bc I do love the affection and the sweetness and I love the cheeesy gifts. When he does do anything sweet it makes me really appreciate it so much bc I know it’s hard for him, but sometimes he just hurts me especially when I think about how I’m dealing with the after math of something that had nothing to do with me, it was 3 years ago. I have to basically beg my own boyfriend to cuddle me. I know some men in general are not very touchy feely &mushy that’s understandable that’s just some men, but he was that way, and I’m dealing with the aftermath of it. I’m not necessarily complaining I just needed a space to vent and cry it out I guess bc sometimes it gets so heavy. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough to make him wanna be that way with me.