Cervical position.

I checked my cervix an hour ago after a BM (I KNOW TMI) and it was a little low, not fully and it was firm but not as firm as the tip of your nose. I checked again and I can't even reach it but I tried and it felt soft and open? Maybe I'm just weird and feeling the walls of my vagina. I have hope I will fall pregnant this month (because I want to start my pregnancy journey) and part of me feels like it may happen by some miracle but the other part doubts it 😣