Autism?

Question

Hey guys, 
I'm wondering if anyone in this group has/knows someone close that maybe on the spectrum. Or maybe you guys could tell me of some of this stuff is normal? I just need some advice.
My son has always been wild. He had colic as a baby and I remeber spending many nights bouncing and praying and he stop crying. He cried all..day..long.. I always thought something was horribly wrong, it drove my anxiety through the rough. He is still pretty intense as a toddler. I think because I don't have any other toddlers to compare to, I'm not sure if this is normal..Or if maybe he is struggling a little bit.
Anytime we tell him no, he SCREAMS. For instance..
It's time to leave the gift shop.
It's time to close the fridge.
It's time to put on your jacket.
He does calm after not to long, but anytime we say we are done or no, it is a huge fight. Evverryyttimme
Everything is theatrical. He is normally held down at the doctor because he won't let anyone touch him. 
He loves to do things over and over again. Like for instance he wants to listen to the same thing over and over and over again. Like, 50 times *Not kidding*
He screams when kids get anywhere near him.
He really doesn't eat a lot of food.
He is always playing with his eyes. His eye lashes really.
I know no one can tell me for certain, just kinda looking for 
"My kid does these things."
Or
"Those don't seem very normal to me"
We did have him evaluated before and a lot of things that where markers, they didn't feel like where concrete enough. He does make great eye contact. He does speak pretty well. He does enjoy playing the adults. So if he was on the spectrum I think it would be like "high functioning" *Though I know that term isn't very liked in the community I don't know any better words to use sorry*
If he is just pushing boundaries I want to help create consistency for him. So he doesn't struggle so much. But if he is on the spectrum, I don't want to scare him for life because he needs to do things a little differently than everyone else.
He got a haircut the other day, and he looked at me with the most overwhelmed face. It was like he phyically could not continue it was just to much for him. He begged me, with pain in his eyes to stop. I did, but sheesh are all toddlers like this? Is just seems so extreme?!?! First time mom stuff I guess. Kids could just be this intense i suppose. 
Anyways thanks for anyone that read all that.

Answer

We've started setting timers, both visual and/or audible, so that my daughter can start to understand "5 minutes". If she doesn't want to do something we let her play but tell her we have to stop in X amount of time, and set a timer. When the timer goes off she knows play is over. We try to let her have control were we can. We have toothbrushes and toothpaste in each of our bathrooms, so she can choose which room she wants to brush in. She gets to pick out her own clothes, but they must be weather appropriate. She can have a choice of something at dinner, "do you want corn or peas?". 
I'm not saying any of this works everytime, but it helps with less meltdowns. And some kids are more sensitive and need more help navigating the world. It's never a bad idea to seek help.

Answer

I have no experience with autism but of the things you describe the ones that concern me are the difficulties with touch and interactions with other kids. 
The rest sounds like a bit wild toddler behavior and I can see my daughter in a lot of what you describe. She was also a colicky baby and in many ways more intense than we were expecting. Like lots of others here we feel we work extra hard to give her “notice” that something is going to happen and come to some sort of agreement on what will happen next. This has gotten better as she understands more language and more complex concepts. The repetition of songs (and/or programs in our case) seems very typical. I always do it for a few times and then try to get agreement on moving on but many times if she is tired or something I just give in and we hear it or watch it over and over again. Whatever it takes to have some peace. The closing the fridge! That gets a drop to the floor crying kind of drama. No clue why it matters so much. 
We had a bad haircut experience where she was scared of the person and she was forced to sit on the chair on her own. I was awful. But then next time we tried with a new person who was happy for her to sit on me and work around that and she now loves it.
You didn’t say anything about sleeping? Is he well rested? Does it vary with tiredness. Or is everything on max level all the time. We do see variation depending on time of day, length of nap, etc. 
Is he in daycare? Do kids scare him because he doesn’t have regular interactions with them? Is touch a concern from everyone or just strangers? 
Bunch of random thoughts but I hope it helps!

Answer

I have no ideaabout Autism. Just a little too that works for me is to maybe give him a time warning when you are going to leave the store. Like ok we are going to leave in a little bit and tell him where he is going to go next and how exciting that is and what he is going to see. Sometimes I have to do that with my son to avoid the meltdown!

Answer

Mine is the same way and she is far from autistic. They are in a big world and are trying to find boundaries and figure out themselves. Maybe give him more time before having him tested. Some toddlers are just a lot more theatrical than others. 
You sound like your doing everything right don’t fret!

Answer

My august 2017 son has autism.  Feel free to message me.

Answer

Our son is very delayed in speech and communication, so I was very concerned. My doctor stressed good eye contact is usually a deal breaker, and our son is very good at it. He loves watching and looking at us when we sing and dance.

Answer

I had the same thoughts since my 2 year old’s speech isn’t as developed as my 9 year old was, but honestly my 9 year old son had major meltdowns as well even though he had NO signs of autism!! He literally spoke in full sentences and was the most social child but he still was extremely difficult to deal with when it came to changing routines or being told no. If your son speaks fairly well and understands at least 80% of what you say I think he’s fine. It seems the medical field puts any querky personality traits on the spectrum but toddlers are weird lol. They also interact differently depending on how comfortable they are with the setting they’re in and who they’re around. For example we had a party for my 1 year old a few weeks ago and he took so long to get warmed up.. he seemed to want to stay around the adults at first, but Sunday we went to a party and he did great! Interacted with the other kids and everything! They are so unpredictable

Answer

I’m not too familiar with Autism markers either, but my daughter does a lot of the same things your son does, and I know my daughter is not autistic. For example, my LO screams bloody murder at the littlest things; I.e. her blanket is not on right, her buckle is “too tight,” her dad comes home from work and she’s not hiding (her only hiding spot is in front of the fridge!), she has to have 2 pacifier and her baby doll with her almost 24/7, and she demands to do everything on her own. She is so sweet and so smart, but she is a very high-strung and “spirited” child. She is super verbal and super sensitive. I have been working on explaining everything before it happens to give her warning and to keep the routine as predictable as possible. That seems to help. I have also found some good resources on Pinterest, mainly phrases to use to help her calm down/avoid meltdowns. Some that seem to work well, “I’m here to help,” “I’m listening.” Also, when I turn anything into a song, it seems to help, “I like the way that Summer is cleaning, Summer is cleaning,” to the early in the morning room and just put the words in that you want. Getting dressed, helping, brushing teeth... 
it’s hard to know, but to me it sounds like you’re describing some pretty typical 2 year old behavior. Oh- my daughter wants the same song on repeat every single time we are in the car! Anyway...good luck to ya mama. 2 is testing my patients, but also so amazing in so many ways. If I have any advice, I would say just enjoy your son as he is now; try not to worry about any potential diagnosis, especially if your pediatrician is not worried.

Answer

I feel like some of this is normal and some may be room for concern. My niece is autistic and she does a lot of these. She’s 3 and her vocabulary is maybe 20 words, she had food therapy because she didn’t eat. My doc asks what’s the most textured thing my son eats and Gave an example of pizza being textured and said we were okay. So maybe there are some texture issues which doesn’t mean yes on the spectrum. The fussing and crying and tantrums sounds normal but I feel like our lo is extreme and has been we dealt with colic too... long story short I joined a fb group for fussy baby’s when he was little and they have a toddler group too it’s call “high need & spirited toddlers & preschoolers support group” and I find it super helpful and the moms in there have a ton of resources

Answer

I don’t think “autism” I think toddler learning to deal with emotions and lack of control over himself. Like (why is it time to go. I don’t want to be at the dr) and it’s coming out in these ways. My daughter gets overwhelmed when her answer is no or time go because she doesn’t ‘want to’ and she doesn’t understand why that’s the answer. She wants the control. 
But I try to give her lots of choices in her day. This or that. Not open ended choices. It’s always this or that. And then I let her know where we’re going, when we’re about to leave. Etc. (and again sometimes it doesn’t matter) I may still have to carry her own crying or she may go peacefully. 
she can say I want a sucker and I can say no & she has a meltdown or I say-you can have one after you eat a banana first, and she still doesn’t hear “yes right now” so she cries. 🤷‍♀️ just keep updating your dr at checkups and keep on keeping on. Maybe introduce more choices for him and see how he does.

Autism?

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