My kind is just rattled

How on earth is it that when I ask my boyrfriend please open up to me emotionally. Let me be the person you lean on. BUT NO guard always up. Nut now that your mental health is on edge because you wanted tto hold it ALL in, and this time I let you be because you will come to me if you want to talk. NOW IM THE ASSHOLE??? Im heartless?? WHAAATTT?!? You say your there for me but when I am crying myself to sleep because of you and you leave for hours after an argument, no calls to see if im alright. Or if I call or text I get COMPLETELY ignored?? But when anyone else has an issue you run and help them. My depression is through the roof and I just switched meds. So im really on edge and extra emotional. But when I can barely get out of bed to shower or go to work, and I don’t want to talk, because my mind is racing and im ignorant for that?? You want me to open up and when I say whats