What is needed in order to get married?

Question

Emotionally what should you feel before you decide to get married? Also, what did you feel with your partner? How did you know you were going to spend forever and ever with them? Was it because you had a baby with them? Did you marry young? Is it smart to marry young? Do you believe one should take classes of marriage before marrying?

Answer

We discussed everything before we got married. We made sure we were compatible in every important way (not just attraction). We did do premarital classes offered by our county. I highly recommend it because it gets you thinking of things you may not have thought of. 
Also we made sure we were able to fit in within each others families for the most part. Because there is no need to live a life of tension. 
And of course the obvious lovely dovey stuff was there but that's the easy part. 
And no babies before. Not knocking anyone but i you should be 100% committed to each other before actively bringing a child into this world. 
Best advice I got was look for all the wrong and bad stuff that you cant live with before marriage. Go in with your eyes open. And then after you are married it can be all cute and lovely dovey because all your big stuff is taken care of.

Answer

Not my business when people marry. 
I married at 18. No regrets. I just wanted to do it so I did.

Answer

There's no one size fits all answer. Some people don't meet until the alter and end up falling in love. Some people are together for a decade before getting married and end up divorcing. Pre-marriage counseling of some sort would be ideal for all though. It shows you where you have issues, and gives you tools on how to work through them should they come up in the future.

Answer

You should wait until you are 24+ to get married. At that point you have a fully formed adult brain capable of reasoning out long term decisions. You need to make sure that you share the same values, priorities, and are willing to support each other's life goals. You need to talk about finances, children/no children, parenting style, politics. You need to decide how open you are going to be about your dating/sexual history. You need to talk about porn and friends and boundaries with the opposite sex. All the touchy subjects. You don't have to agree, but you do have to decide if anything is a deal breaker. My husband and I did all these things before we got married. We talked about it all. We learned how to disagree appropriately and which topics are too personal to discuss. We have been happily married for 18 years so we must be doing something right.

Answer

Yes yes and yes to pre-martial counseling and classes. Marriage solely because of a baby is a bad idea . One should be financial secure and stable and have a job, have their own living place , have health insurance, have reliable transportation, and ideally older than younger (for fully developed brain ) . “Feelings” are fleeting and change all the time . Marriage should not be an emotional decision . It needs to be thoroughly thought through.

Answer

For me, I’d like to have been dating for at least a few years. I’d want to agree on roughly how many kids and values regarding raising kids. I don’t want to date someone who believes in corporal punishment. I have a son and I’m not with his father, so I clearly am not going to marry someone just because we have a child together. My future spouse will have to treat my son well and act as a father figure to him. My boyfriend is great with my son, but he is not his dad yet. We would have to agree on values such as the majority of lgbtq+ rights. I’m a spiritual person, but I don’t think the same spiritual beliefs is necessary, though my boyfriend and I seem to share very similar beliefs in that area. I think financial stability is important so I’d want that to be discussed and figured out prior to marriage. 
I am not even close to being ready for marriage, but I feel pretty confident that my current relationship will get to that point. I think we’re supportive of one another while understanding each other’s boundaries and need for alone time. We agree on a lot and are respectful when we don’t agree. We are pretty good at compromising.

Answer

I'm not married. 
In my ideal world (as life don't always play out the way we want, but that's how I plan on doing), I want to get married after living on my own for a while and being fully independent, and after living together for a while as well. I feel that's a way to 1. Get to know myself better and 2. Get to know the other person better and watch out for compatibility.

Answer

I don't  necessarily  think you should take marriage "classes" but I definitely  do reccomend meeting with a counselor/psychologist prior to marriage.  A baby should never be a reason to decide to get married.

Answer

We had two kids before we got married, we split up a few times before, we were young and naive, however we always remained really good friends. We didn't marry for kids, we married because we couldn't see our future any other way.

Answer

Having a baby with someone shouldn't be related to of you marry them. They are two very seperate things.
What helped us the most was premarital counseling. It helped us learn how to communicate, how to work out any issues we had, how to discuss the hard topics like money. 
I went into my marriage excited and confident.
I have no doubts we're in it for life.

What is needed in order to get married?

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