How to start celbrating xmas

Hi guys.

For years I stopped cellebrsting christmas.

My parents got divorced mid dec 2010

So needless to say no Christmas that year.

My dad used to be stay at home for 20 years so finding a job that paid enough to do christmass like we used to took basically till last year.

My mom lost her job spiraled into depression and self pity has been in and out of mental hospitals but really already struggles doing groceries. Let alone make a christmas party.

At the time I was 11.

When I was 17 I lived with my mum and moved the hell out when I got the oportunity (my dad at the time still had a 1bedroom appartment) because of the state my mom was in and I had spend years taking care of her.

At 19 I moved abroad.

Im now 20. I want to do christmas again with my boyfriend next year.

How do you even start? How would you celebrate it? What things do we need to buy?

He was never super into it so he doesnt know either but I used to be.

Sidenotes

Im vegetarian and the enviorment is important to me. So for tips keep it in mind

I also live in a small european flat. Maybe 35 square meters tops.